For better or worse, it's been one hell of a year

I’ve finally had the will and the time took look back on the past year and how it’s been. So much has changed since the start of the year. Have you ever looked back on old times and not even recognized the person you were in those memories? That’s a bit trippy I’ll admit, but that’s how it feels for me right now. But then again I’ve kept making the same mistakes, so I guess I haven’t changed that much, for better or worse.

The big positive is definitely the riding. I don’t know if I really made the leaps in racing I was hoping to make. One thing I know for sure is that my entire mind set has changed, and so have my legs. I went from doing 200 watts average to 250 watts average on my hard rides. I have even had some crits with powers over 300! I’d be silly to really think that all that was stronger legs though. Some of it is from learning how to suffer. There’s a difference between going hard and going deep. So it’s good to know that when I go deep, there is a lot of power in these legs.

But as far as racing goes, my results while good could be better. I had a lot of opportunities to win races where I just let it go. Melon city, a few collegiate races and most recently at New Year’s. Those races are hard to live down for me. Most people get down when they have bad legs or crash. I know those things happen, and while you can stop it, nobody’s perfect. But to have no one between you and the finish line is something special and it kills me when I mentally can’t pull through. This happened to me way too much this year.

I also am amazed at how I didn’t see some of the bad things coming. In retrospect it’s easy I guess, but still. After re-reading some of my earlier post, I literally would say I don’t think I’m going to do well here, and then I seemed surprised later when I failed. That’s got to stop. I need plan better than that. I’ve had this sense of urgency in the last year because I feel like I’m getting too old to race bike professionally. I’ve been putting everything into it, and it’s bit me in the ass. Even though I was one of the people who were balancing school and racing, plus work, looking back I don’t know how I dealt with it all. Actually I do know how, I did poorly in everything just to get by. Not the way I want to live. It’s time to start looking for quality, not quantity.

So I have started working on next year, and there are a lot of changes coming for me this year as well, hopefully I can grow up a little more because I need it. I’d like to think I’ve got this whole life thing figured out, but I distinctly remember saying that before, and I was wrong. I think J-pow said it best. Everyone is human, and we all make mistakes. The best thing you can do is to wake up every morning and try as hard as you can. I’d like to add on to that with work smart and work hard. Hopefully 2012 is full both those and some success. I’ll take the little victories, but I want to succeed at something that matters.

I wish everyone the best of luck in 2012.

#CXnats!

Wow, it’s hard to believe it’s all done for a while now. As much as I love riding and racing, I was getting to the point where it didn’t seem to have an end. But I will tell you something, it sure went out with a bang!

After a great weekend in Chicago, I was feeling good and motivated to kill it at nationals. I didn’t really get any serious riding in the week before because I was busy, but I think I did enough to keep things feeling good and I spent most spare time either resting or cleaning and preparing for the weekend. We had some guys from Idaho come and stay for the race with us and we went to a few bars on Wednesday. Probably not the best idea, but we had a good time anyways.

But then it came, Saturday morning. I went early to see Dave race. He was riding pretty well, considering that the mud was so frozen it was like riding a rock garden. Guys were going down all over the place, 2 huge pile ups happened on the first few corners. I was glad I wasn’t out there. He ended the race with a tough crash that gave him a bump on the head and some sore joints. Sad to see his season end like that, but he’s a tough guy, and I look forward to watching him race next year.

But once that was over I started to think about my race later that day more. I had talked  to some teammates and had a pit bike for the muddy conditions and was running Dave’s awesome aluminum wheels with those Challenge Limus’ I love so much. I ended up putting my Mud2s on some wider rims so they were actually pretty good as well. So the gear was all set up.

As the time got closer and closer my nerves got worse and worse. I usually handle stress in a very specific way. Most people have to pee all the time, or shake, or act really nervous; I just a funky stomach. It doesn’t really mean anything, but it makes it difficult to eat. I was trying to eat at the right times to make sure I had the fuel I needed, but it was tough. I was able to stomach some bars and gels. But nerves were getting to me.

Once I started my warm-up things got a little better. I had a good friend Nick helping me in the pit and he did an excellent job. Not just taking care of the bikes, but also keeping me calm and making everything worry free. That helped a lot. It also got better once I hit the start line. Just talking with some guys helped to relieve the stress it think. Lined up second row behind Cody Kiser and felt good.

The start was furious! Much more aggressive than I’m used to, but about what I expected from a higher level of racing. I held my place and got what I’ll call a pretty good start. But the legs were just not there. After the first time through the pits I was falling back from the top 10 to top 20, maybe. I didn’t quite have the pop I wanted to start. But the muddy conditions made things unpredictable and a lot of guys were having to put a foot down or getting into the tape. After the second lap started I got comfortable in the pace I was setting so I started to focus on passing. I was surprised at how many passes I was able to make. I never really got into a group either. There was a lot of movement from people moving up or down.

It wasn’t until the last lap that a little group formed through the start line. When one of the riders attacked I responded. But I wasn’t able to make the catch, but dropped the rest of the guys in the process. I put the pedal to the floor for the next half lap until the stair section when I had a chance to look back and had a sizeable gap. I kept it hot, but focused more on catching the rider in front and less on staying a head of the rider behind. But after the sand pit I just couldn’t see myself bridging the gap so I knew I had done all I could do. I ended up in 13^th place with a sizeable gap back. I was super excited to have a good result to cap off the year with KS/TW.

The next day was Collegiate racing action, super stupid early in the morning; 9am. I can’t really remember the last time I raced that early. It reminded me a little of racing citizen in WORS when I was little. The big difference here of course was that instead of a muddy race like the day before, the ground was totally frozen, so just like the masters race the day before, people were all over the place.

I had a second row start again, and got in pretty good. I had the pop in the legs to stay up there and was top 5 maybe going into the pits. The legs felt better than the day before and I was able to hold somewhere around 5 place until the stairs. I tripped on the stairs but quickly got up, then kept going. But when I put the bike down the rear wheel was dragging! I didn’t know what was wrong; I checked the chain, the brakes, the spokes, turns out the wheel had come out of the dropouts! With people running by me I did the best I could to put the wheel back in quickly. But at least 10 guys had run by me. After getting back on the bike it felt sloppy under me, when I looked down the wheel was way out of true. I limped into the pits for the pit bike. After that it was tough to keep the pressure on. I rode with a teammate for a lap or two and eventually dropped him. The legs felt good, but each pass was just so much effort that I didn’t max myself. I rolled in for a respectable 18th place. Certainly not what I was hoping for, but without really knowing what to expect, I’m pretty happy. Oh yea, 5th PLACE IN THE TEAM D1 OMNIUM!!!

It was a pretty good way to end the year, and I’m glad to have some time to take off for the next few weeks at least. Big things are starting to happen already for next year, and part of that will start with a good reflection of this past year, so look for that soon.

Still hungry, but more focused

As I mentioned in that last post I can feel that my body is on the brink, and I’m getting tired. The question is when the fall will come. With nationals next weekend, most people are asking will they peak at the right time, and will everything go well. I’m asking myself can I stay motivated and keep the fatigue from taking me down. As of right now, I think I can and I might actually have something special next weekend. I’m feeling pretty good right now, still beat from this past weekend, but the kick is back in the legs.

I had good starts both days from the second row. I hit those SPDs perfect
both times!

Speaking of last weekend let me take you back. It was the inaugural New Year’s Resolution put on by the guys of the Chicago Cross Cup. I’ve never been down to Illinois for a CCC race, but I hear they are fantastic. Let me tell you, if they are anything like last weekend, I might consider making the trip next year. Good course and well organized. I found the course to be interesting, in a similar fashion to the nationals course. While the two seem completely different, I don’t think they are.  But the two days ended up well for me. Saturday I found myself in a long chase for the lead which I couldn’t overcome. I was able to hold on for 2^nd. Sunday was looking to be much the same as the same riders more or less came to the front, until something unexpected happened. The pit fencing was blow into the leader and knocked him over. Out of the leading group of 4, I was the only one still on my bike after it happened. I opened it up hard. I knew that this was the opportunity to take it. I gassed it hard and got about 30 seconds ahead. But then the gap came back down as yesterday’s winner began to pull me back in.  on the last lap he caught me as we came through the pits for the first time. Then through the last tough mud section, really the last technical section period, I put a foot down and had to run. I gave it everything I had and was right behind him coming out. But his power proved too much. 2^nd again.

I was pretty happy with the placing, but not with the way it happened. I was feeling good, and had it all, but when the time came, I lost focus and made a mistake. A lot of people said that having a pit bike would have helped a lot, and they are right, but even still. I had the win and I lost it. Don’t be fooled, I’m bummed, still confident. But it’s something I need to work on. I had this happen before. I’ve made the right move tactically, or been in the right place, right time and couldn’t come up with the goods. Maybe its fitness, maybe it luck, but I don’t think so. I think its toughness. I think I need to learn to focus less on the pain and the possibility of losing, and more on the win, more on the task at hand.

Making my way up to the lead on the first lap.

I’ll spend this week much like last week though in preparation for nationals. Without any real peak in fitness or anything, I’m just trying to keep things sharp. I’ve been doing 2 days of intensity, but cutting it short, surrounding one day of longer spinning just to get out on the bike. It’s been keeping me sharp without making me tired and putting me over the edge. I’ll be feeling good for next weekend. I’m hoping for something special in the U23 race, and certainly a high finish in collegiate. I’m not wishing, I’m going to make it happen.

Christmas break…well almost

First off, I am a wizard. If you don’t know what that means, you need to be educated better. Ask me sometime. But in all matters of magic, I am the law.

Ok enough of that silliness. Since last post, I’ve been mostly focusing on studying. In the spare time that I have from that I’ve been getting in a ride here and there, but nothing major. And it’s mostly been speed and interval work. That is with the exception of a few weekend ago. I hadn’t been on a long ride in forever so I decided a nice 4 hour trip to New Glarus would be nice. I invited people from the club to go along but the best I got was a few people to ride out to Belleville with me. So I made the rest of the trek to New Glarus and got some food. I then had a nice ride home. The pace overall was actually pretty fast and it didn’t hurt too badly so I felt good about it. But beyond that it’s been short rides and a lot of running.

Then I went home for Christmas. It was really nice to see the family and just do nothing for a few days. It was a nice break. I ate a lot of cookies though. It really hurt my legs; I seriously almost threw up on my warm up on Saturday. But again, it was good to decompress for a few days before I came bad to Madison and started working.

And that brings me to the ‘well almost’ part (use versus mention..I actually learned something this semester!). I can feel that I am tired; I am burned out a little from the year of riding. I’ve been like that since after Jingle CX. Badger X was sort of a weird thing because I felt tired, but raced well. But now I just feel tired. I can tell that I’m on the verge of what I’m beginning to call Wild’e’coyote-ing. If I’m on the clif right now about to be over the edge of tired, Last year around late spring, I was falling off making whistling noises and then poof! But I’m on the edge of that now. So I’m stuck thinking about what I want to do tonight. Should I ride? Or should I stay in and knock some more off my Winter Break to-do list. That’s exactly what this blog is for, because after re-reading that, I’m staying in.

Note if you're ever confused: This blog is basically me talking to myself, except now once in a while I write down what I say.

So that will be it. I’ll take these next few weeks like any smart bike racer would. I’m not going to forget what Cyclocross is to me. It’s fun, it’s exciting, it’s challenging. But at the end of the day it’s my off season. It’s my time to race, train for how I feel and when I feel like it. If I’m this tired now, I don’t want to imagine what summer will like if I don’t take it easy now.  That’s all for now, hope everyone had/is having a wonderful Holidays. 

2 Weekends, 1 Post

Although I write about the last two weekends together, that is all they share in common. I mean results were polar opposite, I felt completely different, and that was all because my preparation was completely different.

Wizard Cross was held at a local park in the Madison area. The course was brutal. There was a lot of tough climbing and nowhere to hide. I could sum up the course in the following sentence. Go fast, go fast up hill, go fast downhill, repeat until you puke. I think everyone agreed that it was a spirit breaker with so much climbing. However, I certainly disagree with those who didn’t like it. It was a challenging course. And I don’t really care why it’s challenging, I just like challenging courses. But this isn’t really relevant because I was really hung over. I don’t generally like to admit that I drink once in a while, I know I shouldn’t, but I’m in college, it happens. On the flip side I had a lot of fun the night before, but the race was a suffer fest from the gun to the line. But I did take some satisfaction in that I didn’t get lapped. Ended up 9^th in a tough field, which all things considered was pretty good. And I didn’t puke, so that’s good too.

But then the polar opposite happened this past weekend at the Midwest regional race here in Madison. I took it easy Friday night. Had a few beers with the boys and hit the sack early. Woke up and spent the morning watching CX, and preparing for the race. Got there and got ready. I never even thought about how the legs were doing. And on days like that you know they’ll be there for you when you drop the hammer. Suffered pretty hard on laps 1 and 2 but kept within myself and started to work catching the lead group which I had been shelled from. It was looking like a solid 7^th place finish for me until a rider tripped on the stairs and lost 10 seconds allowing me to pass. Then Dave Staab crashed in a tough corner. 5^th place was mine! It was a huge battle to keep the chasers off my wheel, but in the end I held the gap. So it was a nice result and a fat chunk of change.

Then today wasn’t quite as good, which was unfortunate because the legs were totally there to repeat a top 5. I had one of those starts where you just can’t help smiling on the inside. I hit my pedal perfect at the start and had the right gear. I got the acceleration and hit the dirt in 2^nd. But from there it went sour. I seriously didn’t know how to react to such a good start and started freaking out. I think I crashed 4 times on the first 2 laps. It wasn’t until a buddy told me to get it together as he passed me that I took a breath and got back on it. But by this time I was well outside the top 10, we’ll say 12^th-15^th. I pushed a hard but consistent tempo and played the tactics and made passes at good times. After an entire race of clawing back I ended up in 8^th place. Just out of the money. But I had no chance of getting 7^th place so I can’t complain there. Finished the day off with an awesome dinner for two and getting a full nights sleep. Which is good because finals are next week(s).

Another thing I want to mention is the increase in fans! People actually know my name now, and they yell it during the races! The support and enthusiasm is what make racing just that much more fun. Racers always have fun when the crowd enjoys watching. So huge thanks to those on the sidelines cheering.

The next few weeks will be spent training and getting in some good form to have a good showing at Nationals. Pretty excited to race after racing the course, it was superb, and a huge shock from what I thought it might be like. But I’m hoping to have a good showing in the collegiate race and then in the U23 contest.