Tough couple of weeks, and it’s about to get tougher.

The last few weeks have been difficult for me. Fracturing a collarbone is a pretty common injury in cycling, so it’s tough to say this will end my hopes of making something out of racing my bike. But beyond those worries, there is something more basic.

I talked to my dad yesterday when I called him in the morning to wish him a happy father’s day. We talked about a lot, but the conversation turned to my collarbone soon enough. Most people seem to ask about the physical pain saying “I bet that hurt” does it still hurt?” of course it hurt, I’m human but I expect that. And besides I race bike and train to endure pain and almost enjoy it. But when we started talking about it my dad’s first response was, “you must be going insane!”

He captured exactly the problem! The pain was there but it was nothing. What’s been the most difficult is waiting for it to heal and watching my season slowly tick by from the sidelines. I became so focused on working hard, training and racing that without it I felt lost. Without that focus I felt like I was waiting to die. Sounds harsh, but it’s kind of true. It’s a bit extreme, but so am I.

The first few weeks have been tough, but I had good friends to help me through it. Accepting help with daily tasks is strange for me, but something I dealt with and I can’t thank Tim enough for everything. But there was a little fun too bad had. I helped out with the WORS Media at the 4^th race of the year, CamRock. It was a little strange watching from the sidelines, the racing kept my mind off those thoughts.

But it is starting to heal. More than just feeling better, it is starting to feel more solid. Although it feels more solid like jello is more solid than water, it’s still and improvement. It’s actually to point where when I move, it moves with me. That’s cool, but hurts like a bitch. And that’s the story, as it hardens it will likely hurt more and more until things are strong enough to bear my weight in 2-3 weeks’ time. And that only part of it. The training will start back up soon and we’ll see how much fitness I’ve lost. The good news is there is a ton of time between my next race and now, so I’ll be able to get into some good shape and regain any confidence I’ve lost off-road. If I’ve done an okay job on the trainer it won’t be too bad, but hopefully it not so bad to where I can’t easily motivate myself.

Next race on the schedule right now is Ore to Shore, possibly going to race Wausau 24 and Sunburst if I can get clearance by then. The next couple weeks will be all about resting and healing, getting on the trainer when I can and holding on to what fitness I can. Then I’ll have a couple of month of train and very little racing to build fitness and hopefully come into the second half of season riding like I have something to prove, cause I do.