What can I say?

My ego imagines there are some people wondering why I have missed a lot of the racing in the last 10+ weeks. Well imaginary people, it’s been one thing after another. The broken collar bone was pretty un-fun, but I worked through it. Then 3 weeks back on the bike doing base miles trying to get my lost fitness back and muster up a little something to be proud of at the end of the season. And I was starting to feel pretty good too. But then I started to get a scratchy throat. I thought it would be a few days off and then back at it, but man was I wrong. I spent the next two days in my bed, barely able to sleep. A fever the first night, and a migraine so bad the second night, I was incapacitated. So I went to the doctor really hoping it was just a bad case of strep throat. After a quick blood test and mouth swab, the doctor told me I had mono.

WHAT THE FUCK?!? Pardon the language, but seriously? I didn’t want to believe it at first, but then again here I sit, 2 weeks later and still feeling crappy. I’ve only had one more fever and 2 migraines, but that’s not the worst. I just want to race again!

But honestly what can I say. There is nothing I can do. I keep trying to think there is some reason this happened, trying to rationalize it. But there is no rationality to it, it’s just the worst luck I’ve had in my life so far. I keep wanting to believe that because this happened, I’ll have an amazing year next year, or that I won’t be sick for a few years or something. But who knows? If there is one thing I’ve learned from this it’s that I sure as hell don’t know. So you just have to take the good when it comes, and deal with the bad when it comes. All we can do it hope that bad luck doesn’t come our way, but that only makes us feel better, it doesn’t actually help.

As you can see, I’ve had some time to think, between sleeping all day and night. But that’s all I have to say about that…

Hopefully a slightly more interesting topic is what I’ve been doing to pass the time. Well, mostly watching movies and playing Warcraft. I cleaned my room, but it got dirty again. Maybe I’ll clean it again. But the interesting one has been looking at wheel and frame design on bikes. If you’re interested, I highly encourage you to look into it. I’ve found that it’s actually something of a science. Well, motorcycles are at least. But everything transfers over, mostly.

To sum it up, the bicycle is one of the most complex vehicles we as humans have ever invented. I suppose there is a reason that even after almost 200 years of existence, people are still fascinated by them. And with good cause, because we really have only just begun to understand how they actually work.

Take for instance how a person is able to balance on a bike. Some would say it’s the wheels. Because they spin, they create a gyroscope effect which makes the bike more stable. Some might say it’s the angle and trail of the steering mechanism. Well, almost. Some recent(ish) mathematical and experimental analysis has shown that it’s not the gyroscope or the trail. It’s as simple as keeping the weight over the two wheels. If you’re more interested, the article below is a report on this research where they created a bike which balances itself. It has wheels which have mass spinning both ways (to cancel the gyroscopic effect) and negative trail.

http://bicycle.tudelft.nl/stablebicycle/StableBicyclev34Revised.pdf

or for those who don't know math

http://discovermagazine.com/2012/jan-feb/26

So how do we stay up? By turning. Each time we turn it moves the center of mass and the front wheel in relation to the rear wheel and the forward motion. Think of this as like putting a foot out to catch yourself, except it’s your front wheel. Now do this motion very slightly and over and over and over very quickly and you’re balancing! Ever notice how people who are new to riding don’t always go so straight and more experienced riders do? Exactly.

Counter steer is another interesting one. It’ related to leaning in a corner. The bike doesn’t actually turn solely because of its handle bars getting turned. In fact, it’s usually the opposite. The bike gets the majority of turning from leaning. The rider needs to balance 2 things when turning. First make the correct radius turn and second staying off the pavement. To do this they use the bars and leaning to keep the sum of the lateral forces correct to produce the turn and to keep the weight over the wheels. This, more often than we notice, produces a handle bar direction opposite of where we want to go. If you ask me, that’s pretty amazing to think our bodies can do that.

There is a ton more to learn about it, and I’ll continue to read until I can ride bikes again without getting tired after 20 minutes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_and_motorcycle_dynamics

Wausau 24 and a few thoughts

A few weekends ago was my glorious return to off-road racing with the Wausau 24 at nine mile forest up nort. Of course I joke. I was hoping that my return would be incredible, that I would just start crushing it. The road back to form has been longer, tougher and more importantly eye opening. The most eye opening things is the realization of just how in shape I was before. I was wrapped up in the effort and racing to really stop and realize anything, but looking back I now understand. I think I understand now because I’m trying to get back there and it isn’t coming as easy as before.

But of course with off-road racing there is the strength and the skill. The strength will get there as it does with hard work and time. But the skill is something else. The skill takes effort, focus and a critical attitude to improve. Wausau 24 was perfect for his. Each lap was like its own mini race where I could practice my routine on getting ready, make small changes and then go out and see what worked best. I ended up doing 8 laps and by the time I was done, the confidence was back and I definitely think I made some serious gains. Of course those last few laps are like riding with an anchor in your shorts, but I suppose the single track skill plays an even more important part.

It was a long weekend or riding and it make me extremely tired. Not just in the legs, but mentally too. The legs are recovered, as much has they can, but the mind is still tired. Sleep just isn’t’ enough it seems after being on edge for 24 hours plus. But I’m not complaining. Matt Gehling said it best, “I remember why I don’t like 24 hour races, it just took me 12 hours to remember”.

Combine that mammoth effort with watching the Olympics non-stop like a zombie and I’ve been thinking about where all this riding and racing is going. The Olympics have this special aura about them. I saw an interview with Sam Schultz about the Olympics. He makes a good point, that the Olympics is that one race where you mention it, and suddenly everyone cares. Everyone knows what that means. I don't know if I could ever be that fast, but it's always fun to dream.

Cleared

Email received from Coach Gordy 7/23/2012 at 5:36.


"Good to hear Joe. Roll up your sleeves, time to get to work."


I woke up yesterday feeling like I was forgetting something. I showered and headed to work but couldn't shake the feeling. I sat in my chair and opened up my email. The meetings for the day came up and first on the list was: Doctors Appointment! SHIT! I called and was allowed to come in late. I ended up being about 1 hour late for my appointment. The people at UW Health were pretty cool about it, apparently they were on a slow day. I headed in for X-rays. The same nurse/technician who gave me initial x-rays working. She is pretty cute so I definitely sucked in the gut when I took the shirt off ;) (almost comically it was sucked in so far, but I caught her looking). Anyways, saw the doctor and talked about how cool bones are, they are pretty sweet, and at the end of it all, I asked can I race? He said: "You can do whatever you want, but you're still at risk." I figure if I crash I would probably hurt myself regardless. I was pretty excited and emailed Gordy at Speed Madison.


Sleeves are rolled up, and I'm getting back to work.


Next race is the Wausau 24. Awesome and well run event. The hours of trail riding will help me get my confidenc back so I'm pretty excited for it. Check it out!


http://www.wausau24.com/


Peace.

Getting back on the horse.

Today was first day back on the mountain bike since the crash. I was excited to go, but a little worried my bike wasn’t totally up to it. I haven’t touched it since the crash since today. 20 minutes with a spoke wrench and the front wheel was good to go and so was I. Rain was in the forecast, but we said F it and went anyways. We met out at Cam-Rock after work at 6pm with the skies clear and blue.

We started down the path and things were great. We hit the single track and immediately I noticed my front tire was a little low on air. I decided that would be good as it would keep me from trying to push it too hard. Sometimes I wonder what makes me so dumb while on a bike. I kept going and things were fine. We got to the first technical downhill and I took it nice and easy, sort of. The last corner, it has a lump right in the middle of it and I’ve washed out there before. I hit it with a little too much speed and rolled the tire falling hard on my butt. It left a pretty good gash in my left cheek and dirt rash on the left arm. I pumped it up and kept going, but I was noticeably more timid, extremely timid to be honest. I was actually afraid.

Things got better, as it started to poor rain. No big deal for Cam-rock. It’s so dry that the trails stay good for a long time after it rains. But then came some serious thunder. We headed for the shelter and hung around until the rain broke and rode back to the car.

Hopefully tomorrow I can have a better day. There are some days you just need to completely forget; today was one of those days.

Trying to find my rhythm

Crashing and hurting yourself has some obvious consequences. The time off was tough because I lost a fair amount of fitness. Not being able to race in the races I wanted to, missing some of my season’s biggest goal races was even harder. As much as it was cool to see friends tearing it up in Idaho, it was bitter sweet knowing that I could have been there having success too. There were a lot of I could haves and what ifs running through my head, weighing me down and making it tough to push through and continue keeping focused on coming back. It’s funny, just because you want something doesn’t mean that you’ll have the drive to make it happen. I’ve had a taste of this for the first time in my life in the last few weeks, feeling afraid to try for fear of failure.

I think my fear was somewhat justified too. I have yet to get back on a mountain bike, still waiting for the doctor to clear me in a week. And while on the bike I was feeling uncomfortable. I wasn’t picking up where I left off. I was trying to re-learn a lot of what I spent years learning. There was a blockade standing in my way and for some reason I couldn’t just deal with it like before. It was almost like I forgot how to.

And this continued much the same into this past week’s rides. I was trying so hard to hit the numbers, to push myself, to go hard. But I couldn’t. I didn’t know if the numbers were wrong, or if I was just not up to it. After failing to push myself hard enough on the weekend, I was still feeling tired from the long hours. Not recovering right and felt dead Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. But something happened yesterday. Something happened that showed me the light at the end of the tunnel. It was distant and dull, but light is still light. During another FTP effort where I just couldn’t keep the pace up, I thought maybe I’m just not in a rhythm. So I focused, I push the pace and effort to a place where I knew I could hold it and just sat there. It hurt like all hell, but I stayed there. I focused to keep the cadence high and the effort high all the while keeping my gaze on the road ahead. I let my body do the work while I focused on the effort.

I think that’s the subtle difference. I was too focused on the pain and not focused enough on the effort. I was too focused on how hard I was going and not focused enough on how hard I should go. Hopefully this makes sense. Like I said, that light was short lived, as I only had 2 minutes left in my interval. But for that brief moment, I felt like I was strong. It wasn’t easy, but it was manageable. I found a rhythm and held it.

And this is true in the other aspect of my life/training (what’s the difference anymore?). I was eating whatever, getting takeout and subs almost every day. I was staying up too late. I was letting things sit and not dealing with them. I stopped doing the little things that alone don’t matter but together make all the difference. In the last few years I’ve become someone who can fix almost anything as long as I understand the problem. I thought I did with this one. I thought I knew how to get back going again. Turns out I didn’t, but I think I do now, but only the next week’s riding and training will tell.

I owe Gordy at Speed Cycling huge thanks. He picked me up this year and I was a little worried that my lack of results would be reason to kick me out. But after 4 weeks of recovery I contacted him letting him know I was ready to start riding again. We met and got things going again. His support was rock solid. His confidence in my abilities was noticeably deeper, and this played a big role in helping me figure this all out. But of course he stressed that we should focus more on handling skills, haha.He gave my training and remainder of the year some much needed refocusing. His experience and knowledge are there, but the caring is what makes Speed different. Gordy and all the coaches there care, like no other. When I went in 2 other coaches who I don’t really know all that well asked me how things were going, as if they understood the whole situation. I could go on and on about it, but I’ll sum it all up with a HUGE THANKS to the whole Speed Crew but even that isn’t enough.

http://www.speedmadison.com/

The next few weeks will be important. There will be lots of hard miles trying to get back to where I was and further. Then on the 23^rd I’ll get cleared to race and race off-road. The next race of any consequence will be Ore to Shore where I’m hopeful for a solid result to confirm that I’m making progress. I might race the Wausau 24 before that for some fun and some dirt practice, but we’ll see.

See you on the roads and trails!